So I know a lot of you followed this blog because of the real life BDSM advice and personal experience. Sometimes I actually do those things. This is one of those times.
Today’s topic is checklists! Checklists are amazing. They give you a quick impression of what someone in interested in, what they have tried, what they love, what the hate, and their soft and hard limits. Checklists do not cover everything. How could they? They’d be thousands of questions long. I recently found an amazing 200 question one though. It can be found here. http://www.cepemo.com/checklist.html I highly suggest printing it out. It’s hard to fill out by hand as the things are meant to be circled and it’s like 10 pages long.
So if they aren’t all inclusive why use them? They give you a basis of things to try and what you should be doing more often. They let you know what things your partner may be interested that may not have come up in conversation before. It also lets you know what things they are never willing to do under any circumstances and what items you can use when punishing them or when you want to push them to their limits during a scene.
This particular checklist has a scale of 1-5 Love to Hate, Curious, Essential, Soft Limit and Hard limit along with another question asking if they had done it before. Not only that but it has two sides for the answers. 1 side for having it done to them and one side for doing it to someone else. So while I answered Love being spanked I answered Dislike spanking others.
So soft and hard limits. Soft limit is under normal circumstances this is unwelcome to the extreme but can be pushed. Hard limits are complete no go zones. So while being hit with a cane is a soft limit for me, golden showers is a hard limit.
Check lists are good for you to assess what you are currently interested in with or without a partner. Checklists are good for new partners trying to figure out what are mutual interests. Checklists are good for old hats at the game and old partners because maybe your interests have shifted over time.
Just a word of caution, they are not all inclusive. Checklists are a good start but you really need to talk to your partner to eck out details and discuss things that are not on the checklist. There were several things I am interested in that did not appear on the 200 question checklist. I’m sure you will find a few as well.
Goodluck and remember to be safe, sane and consensual. If you need that explained let me know asap and I will break it down for you. Google will also help I hope but truly internet advice is sketch at best. The internet and my friends told me trojan condoms were amazing. They lied. And that women are supposed to be able to bend over for doggy style sex naturally, my vagina is not oriented towards the back. Doggy style is complicated for me. The internet lies. LIIIIIES.
Be safe dearies. <3